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{Saturday, November 16, 2002}

Not An Ass After All

There's a new show on TLC in the great tradition of Trading Spaces. It's called While You Were Out. In this show, typically, the wife sends the husband away for a weekend while she turns over the patio or sometimes a room to the *Team* for their remodeling prowess. I've watched about 4 shows. Traditionally, the man arrives home and find all of these cameras and strangers in his house (after he's normally had a *horrible* weekend with his own kids and without his wife around to take care of them) and acts like a total ass.

Tonight as we were eating dinner, Morgan was boo-hoo-ing because Emma stopped playing Yard Sale to eat. I flipped on TLC to distract her and this was on. Same scenario. The girls ran into the living room to see the husband come home (toting three children and returning to a pregnant wife) and I am still at the table eating. I say, "Well Emma, how's it going in there -- is he being nice or is he being an ass?" She says, "Oh, he's being an ass." So I ran in there too to watch. And he was, he was all 'deer in the headlights' and put his ball cap on and off and snapping his gum. Then they got upstairs to the bedroom (which they redid in nautical theme for HIM) and he cracked. He almost cried! It was **too freaking sweet**. Here's the big sweet doofus.
posted by Lisa 8:29 PM
Technological Wizard

Oh yes, oh yes. Emma has been wanting to watch 'Maria' (i.e. The Sound of Music) so I thought that it would be a great time to try out my clever idea of hooking up the stereo that Jennifer left (and therefore the speakers) to the television. Well now, 7 minutes later....

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE!!!!!!! Whoa baby, turn it *down*. It freaking worked. The first time, the first hook-up. Patted self on back profusely.

We have baked and iced the weaning party cupcakes. Emma ate two (healthy dinner, eh?) and Morgan ate one, plus licked the icing off of three more. (gag) That thought alone has kept me from eating any. So that worked. Additionally, the weaned Queen got to choose our lunching location and that was Taco Bell. So, I'm sure my Grade D but edible quotient for the week (month) has been fulfilled. Thank goodness that is over. I had the nerve to eat some beans while there too. I don't know why I even attempted that (though the repercussions have been nil) after almost *killing myself* with my OWN flatulence last night. Apparently (which, hmmm, in retrospect I knew) those pecans and dried apricots followed up by wine (to implode them) is lethal. I simply *could not* get away from myself.

About 3:30 a.m. I was awakened by merrymaking outdoors. The big house occupied by renters next door to the Henderson's has apparently acquired some partiers. FINE, but they are making *too much fucking noise* during the freaking middle of the night. I was too annoyed (and too lazy and against getting out of my warm bed) to go downstairs, look up the police dept. number and call them to bitch. However, tonight I am prepared. This happened last weekend too. Seeing as we are only about 10 blocks from the main cop shop I'm thinking that it won't take them long to get over here and harrass the happy folk. I would have thought the Henderson's would have been *extra* pissed because they are *right* next door and it has to be ULTRA-loud for them.

Okay, going to list more auctions. I think I can...I think I can....I think I can.....

posted by Lisa 5:33 PM

{Friday, November 15, 2002}

People are thoroughly nuts. Buying used clothes over the internet. God this is great. Needless to say I've been listing auctions. I always feel this way when they sell, but sometimes I get all googly-eyed over it any ole time. Tonight seems to be one of those times. PLUS, I found the 'discussion boards' at the eBay community. Everyone talking about their thrift store finds and their non-paying bidder bastards, etc. My sistas! Thank god too, I needed some encouragement to list and not just *buy*. Mom and I spent 2 hrs. at downtown today. And Morgan did SO WELL. She ate every single morsel we brought for her though, so we bookmarked that idea. And *plus*, she's "weaned" now and we're having the party tomorrow. I'm thinking cupcakes, strawberry, with nipple-design icing. She's done well -- only mentioned it once (wanting to do it, that is; she's mentioned the party often. Once today, while driving home, talking about inviting "...the playgroup, my school friends, yadda, yadda" then I tuned in and realized what she was talking about. Mom and I grinning madly (of course, we do this hourly at Morgan's pontifications) and I had to explain that it would just be *our family* which is what she told Jennifer tonight on the phone. I suggested we wait until Daddy gets back (poor buddy, left his new camo in the dryer) but she's gung-ho about a party *tomorrow*. Maybe we'll have two....Daddy will be glad enough to make a cake I'll bet. I should probably get her a present. After all, she had to endure watching the tooth fairy visit Emma *twice* and she's younger.
posted by Lisa 11:16 PM

{Wednesday, November 13, 2002}


That rat bastard (that *I* crashed and just keeps on giving) has to have the whole front end replaced -- AGAIN. As Morgan would say: Jesus.

posted by Lisa 9:43 PM
Bugsy Malone and Gangster talk about possibilities in Las Vegas:

Bugsy: "Soon the Hoover Dam will be finished and electricity will be available on massive scales!!!"
Ganster: "I don't follow -- how are fucking and the Hoover dam connected?"
Bugsy: "By air conditioning!"
posted by Lisa 9:43 PM

{Tuesday, November 12, 2002}


When you have NO BIDS on any of your auctions, it sucks. It's downright depressing and it feels like a personal affront! What do you mean you don't want that shirt? It's LOVELY, 100% cotton made in the USA! BID!!!

I think I'm finally getting a bit better. The knives in my throat feel like they've been pulled out a couple of inches. Steve, however, is one Day Two and feeling extremely rotten. I knew this was coming (sick all winter) but I forgot how miserable it is. At least the children are reasonably well right now. When they are sick, *everyone* suffers. Especially true with Morgan.

Speaking of those children, they are upstairs playing. It's nice, but also worrisome. The few times they done this before (been more than 3-4 feet away from us in the house), they were doing little deeds like throwing all of my folding clothing on the floor *or* taking all of their socks and underwear out of their drawers and putting them under the beds *or* taking down all of the the hanging clothes and throwing them on the floor to lay on. I think I hear the distinctive sound of glass tinkling every so often also. A teaset I hope. And the not the fragmented pieces of the pedestal sink.
posted by Lisa 7:40 PM
Wow, this is right on and so was Jennifer's!

posted by Lisa 7:20 PM

{Monday, November 11, 2002}

You Say Rimble, I Say Ramble....

The other day a friend told me that I had 'charisma'. Hubba, hubba.....I've had my fair share of compliments in my life, but no one has ever said that before! Apparently, that was just what I was waiting for and didn't know it. 'Flattered' doesn't begin to cover it!

The grocery store was playing Lynrd Skynrd yesterday. Gimme Three Steps was almost-loudly playing! It was fantastic. I'd go to that store more if they had *up* music like that going all of the time. Everyone there was noticeably peppier than normal - or at least what I consider normal for grocery shoppers.

Peering through the storefront window the other night, I saw that Fat Bastard apparently works at our local Radio Shack. Enough said.

In an amazingly small amount of mouse-clicks and keystrokes yesterday, I bought a Mac and indebted myself mightily. Wow, that shouldn't really be possible. Well, at least I didn't buy a Volvo or anything. I suspect you could probably do that online too, just have it delivered to your driveway. That would be cool, probably not worth the 7% premium you would have to pay to not have to deal with anyone related to car sales IRL, but still cool. Apple doesn't charge shipping. Already I love them.

I've assembled half of a gift for Jennifer. I'll have you know that I'm having a very hard time not putting a Betta in that vase! It's calling to me. Tried to watch _Lord of the Rings_ a couple of night ago. Tried to like it. Was very unsuccessful. Just not my thing; I'm sure the books are marvelous, but the movie, eh.

posted by Lisa 8:38 AM